Change is inevitable.
This is a hard and true fact; it is something we all must come to terms with at one point or another in our lives.
Recently, I have been musing not over the changes that are happening now in my life, but those that are to come in the future.
Eventually, I will graduate. Inevitably, my life is going to change following this life event – not for the better, not for the worse – but it will change.
The reason I am staring this change straight in the face is because I am nervous for what my life will look like after graduation.
I always figured that after getting my Master’s degree, I would know exactly what my next right step would be. The choice of where to move, what job to take, which program to apply for, where to pursue my PhD…I imagined a clear path, a simple guiding light, and an overwhelming sense of peace.
Maybe I was naive to think that a few more years of life – a few more years of hills and valleys – would turn me into some sort of clairvoyant. Or maybe I am just a human being with a deep desire to understand her path and the world that surrounds her.
Regardless, here I am in my final semester of graduate school without a single inkling of what my next right step will be. I have the whole world at my fingertips; the world is my oyster.
My problem is that I don’t particularly like oysters.
Free will – the ability to choose and change as one desires – is one of life’s biggest blessings, but it is also one of life’s scariest places to sit and sequester. It can be a blessing and curse, especially for an over-analyzing, introspective introvert like myself.
I know that God will reveal these truths I am seeking in His due time. He has shown up for me in beautiful and miraculous ways this year, and He deserves endless praises for the gifts He has given me in this life.
He has planted me here in love, with truth and reason, and He is the best gardener I know. I know that when I’ve outgrown my plot of soil, He’ll already have my next plot’s soil overturned. He is preparing people and places for me now just as He has for my whole life.
My only job now is to bloom. Soak up the sunshine. Rejoice during the rainstorms. Watch the Gardner do His work.
Until next time,